Sunday, April 5, 2015
I'm on my computer and I shut the screen down that I was looking at thinking that its time to go to bed and I look and I have Love on my screen giving me a kiss/Duck face and I just sit here and think I love this kid so much I couldn't even explain it or put it into the right words. My love for her is just not describable. I often wondered with everything that happened with her SD (Sperm Donor) if I would have resentment or a small hatred for her at all but I have to say I have never once regretted having her or resented her or anything all I have for this girl is love. She really is my everything and I am so thankful for her and that I am blessed to have her in my life. There is one thing growing up that I told myself I would never do and that was I would never have an abortion. SD told me that I had to have one and I refused. I think about all those women out there who can't have babies my cousin being one of them and I just said to myself when I was younger that I could never do that to her or any other woman out there be given that blessing and then throw it away. I know that people have there reasons for doing it themselves and I will never judge anyone who does do it its not my place this is just how I feel about it. I love my girl more than I thought I could ever love anything. When I wake up in the morning to her whispering mommy, mommy, mommy from her crib and then looking over at her and her yelling MOMMY! like I'm the best thing in the world well the feeling is mutual. I hope that when she is older I can have this great relationship with her like I have with my mother, I also hope that I can show her enough love that she never feels like she missed out on anything with not having a father.
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She's so sweet!
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