Wednesday, June 28, 2017

Going to school, turning 4 and life

In Just a few more months L will be going for her first day of school! Aww my little girl is growing up so fast I can't believe it. In only 3 days she is going to be a 4 year old! How did this happen!? I know how it happened I just mean that time has gone so fast. I can remember holding her when she was first born and thinking to myself that school and her being 4 was so far away boy was I wrong. She is a pretty Special person that I can say for sure. She is very very friendly when it comes to other kids and can make friends within a minute of meeting them. I'm hoping thats a good sign for when she starts school. She knows her full name and can verbally spell her first and last name and can write her first name and we are just working on her last name. She can tell you what my name is and where she lives and even what country she lives in.

She is counting down the days this morning she woke up and goes mommy theres only 3 more days till my birthday! My dad and I went out last night and bought some party supplies, She has been asking for a unicorn piƱata like a crazy person so of course as a good mother I went and got her one. Unfortunately they were all out of unicorn balloons so we just got a giant 4. I so excited to celebrate her birthday with her this year we aren't totally celebrating it on her actual birthday but the day after and we have family and friends coming out to our cabin that we are renting for the weekend. She doesn't know that everyone is coming out yet. I'm hoping to surprise her as she has been asking people to come and hide with the lights out and she will walk in and we will surprise her haha what a kid.

Tomorrow my life may change for the better! I go for my driving test tomorrow and I'm super excited about it and just can't wait to be able to just go whenever I want. I think it is going to open up the summer for L an I to get out and do a lot more and have some fun. I think it will also help with business as well. Thats something I'm looking forward to. It's actually funny for me because I really am not nervous about the test or driving in general but I know before I even started driving it scared the crap out of me. Now I am not nervous at all. I just got back from my lesson today and she thinks I'm going to do well on the test tomorrow so that makes me feel good tomorrow we will go out again and do another drive and then I have my test. Wish me Luck!!

Wednesday, June 21, 2017

Where have I been?

Where have I been? Well I have been working and taking care of my kiddo and it has just been a lot since kiddo is no longer in daycare. Before I had a lot more time to myself to sit down and write and plan things out and now I just don't. I have 2 other jobs/ businesses and they are my main source of income so they come first before this. I think posts are going to be a little more sparatic until L is in school on September. I've been wanting to get on here and write some stuff do some reveiws but it just hasn't been possible. It will be eventually and I will be back at it probably not everyday but as I have said in past posts I want to get on more of a schedule with this. So until next time hope all is well.

Thursday, June 1, 2017

Health and Mental Health

By the title of this post I am guessing that you have an idea of what this post is all about or you have an idea. These past few weeks as you know I haven't been posting much. I have posted a few posts to keep you updated as best I could or just wrote that things are tough right now. Today is the last day of the month and I am so glad and hoping that next month is awesome! May has been hard for me personally and for some of my loved ones around me there have been a lot of things that have happened including cancer battles, dangerous falls, mental health issues and many more.

My struggle has been with my mental health and my physical health. It has all gotten out of control and I am grasping at straws to get back in control of it all. I personally suffer from Depression and it has been a struggle that I have dealt with for years basically over 10 years. It usually doesn't get too bad and I can work through it pretty easily but this month has been a big test on myself. I have chosen to not medicate my depression and It's defiantly ok if anyone else reading this does you have to do whats right for you. We all have the choice to do what we think is best for us and for me personally medication just always made me feel worse then I already did so I have always chosen to deal with it on my own.

I have been very depressed this month and overwhelmed. Because of this I have let my physical health suffer and my weight has gone way up and I now am struggling to get it to go back down. I have always struggled with my weight and my appearance and have low to no self esteem. I am currently the biggest I have been since I was a teenager and that was over 13 years ago. I lost almost 100lbs probably about 5-6 years ago and was the smallest I had ever been but wasn't yet at my goal but was so close. Then life happened and I had L and a lot of different things happen and never got back to how well I was before. I wish desperately that I could get back into the mind space I used to have when it came to working out and the way I ate.

I have started to make some new goals for myself and Next month is a new beginning and the new Beginning starts June 1st! Wish me luck!

She's so sweet!

Oh what a day today has been! Today my dad asked if L and I wanted to go to the store with him. I of course said yes because your girl loves...