Pandemic and Me

Well as per normal it has been a while since I have been on here. We are in unprecedented times and it is very weird! My child is home all the time and so is the rest of my family and we are not allowed to leave the house unless it is to go to the store for essential items. Schools are out and its just crazy!

We are now resorting to online schooling at the current moment which let me tell you as much as my child loves being on the computer or Ipad school work is the last thing she wants to do and I don't blame her. I give full props to the parents that are currently sitting down with there kids and doing school work everyday and all that jazz but that isn't the case in our house hold. If I can get L to sit down and do at least an hour of solid work a couple times a week without a fight then I'm winning! I have come to the decision that I am not going to fight with her and her get upset over it to the point of tears and hatred it's just not worth it to me and her mental and to be honest my mental health to do that. If she doesn't feel up to it that day then we just don't do it and I tell her that we are going to have to do a little bit of it sometime in the week and she knows that and she will choose to do it when she feels she is in a good space to do it. outside of that we are taking this weird time to spend time together and learn things a different way wether we watch a national geographic show on Disney + about dinosaurs or go out in our yard and look at things growing. My kid is a ball of information and tells me things about animals or dinosaurs before they even get to that part in the shows we are watching. basically as long as she is learning in some way and she is happy and healthy I am doing good.

It's so hard for kids right now especially ones who don't have siblings like mine. they aren't allowed to play with their friends or go to the park or really even leave the house or yard except to go for a walk. This has been hard on L as she is a very social person and loves her friends. One great thing though is that even though it has caused more screen time she has been able to video call and play games with her cousin which has been great for the both of them as before all this they would maybe see each other a few times a year mostly at family events and now they have more of a friendship. It also has been a good break for me as in those times where she is on with her cousin I get to have some free time from entertaining her myself.

As I think most people have these days I am becoming a bit of a crazy plant lady and have a good collection going right now in the corner window. not all of them will stay indoors but just until it is time to plant them in the gardens. I have also started a list of plants that I want to get for the house so we will see how that goes.

As for my way of eating it has totally gone off the rails and I am sad to say that but when you have a hard time finding certain foods and you don't want to go to the store all the time especially with what is going on we just came to the conclusion that we will just eat whats the easiest to access. we are starting to talk about getting back on track with our Keto way of eating which I am very much looking forward to.

All in all we are getting through this we are currently healthy which is great and we are getting a little sick of each other but we are working on that.

Stay Safe!

It's been a hot minute

Well its been forever since I was actually on here and wrote anything or even checked up. I need to get back on to doing that more often! Yes I know I know I think I say that in every update post I do and it seems like it never happens but I do want to make this more of a regular thing again. I am very frequent on instagram right now I post just about everyday there my food of course.

So here is a little update for you I have been 9 months Keto now and I am officially down -51.4lbs!!! YAY HAPPY DANCE!!

I feel so much better and have so much more confidence when it comes to how I feel and look about myself. I have no idea if that last sentence makes any sense but oh well its staying. I have been extremely busy with work and being a single mom and trying to keep helping out around the house here but the struggle is real. I am so tired right now it is crazy. I feel like I don't have enough time in the day to get everything I need to get done done. I started waking up at 6 am every morning just to try and give myself more time to get things done but then I'm still staying up till 11pm working. So in conclusion of that coffee is my friend and I probably drink way to much of it at this point.

L is officially finished Kindergarten and going into grade one next year 😭where did my baby go! She is so smart, I know I know everyone says that about their kids but in all honesty some of the stuff that comes out of this kids mouth is crazy I even have to google it some days to figure out what she is talking about and most of the time she is right and I feel like an idiot.

At this very moment I feel exhausted and emotional and didn't know where to put that need to get my frustrations out/vent so here I am writing this. once I'm done here it's back to cleaning the house and trying to get as much work done as possible before I take a day off for Canada Day! Yes if you didn't know already I am Canadian!

Well until I get back on here and do some more of this writing stuff so long for now!

Changes In My Life...

I have been really thinking about the past lately and looking at what I have done in the last year with myself. I got into a really dark place where In my head I was going to be over weight and hate myself for the rest of my life I had tried almost everything. I was working out but wasn't really loosing weight and I was getting back up to that weight I told myself that I would never let myself get to again. The highest weight I have ever been was 256 lbs I was 248lbs and had given up hope of ever being at my goal weight or feeling good about myself again. I really let myself go and didn't care at all I stopped wearing make up wore my hair up 90% of the time and wore yoga pants and big sweaters because those were the only things that fit me.

One day I decided that I was done with weight watchers and not sticking to it and that I was going to start looking into this Keto diet that everyone was talking about. I started doing my research and gathering information. I then decided heck I'm going to try this and see how it goes. The only way I was going to succeed was to be able to get the rest of my family on board It took about a week to get them all on board my dad was all for it right off the bat. My mom on the other hand took a little more convincing to give up pasta and breads.

I just posted a Keto 6 month update. I'm happy to say that in those 6 months I have lost 38.8 lbs almost 40lbs and I feel great! In the past couple weeks I have noticed a lot of changes in myself. I have been trying on old clothes and clothes that I haven't ever worn because they were always too small and am now able to fit in them. I have started wearing makeup again because I now feel good about myself and the way I look. I am motivated again and feel so determined to keep going with this lifestyle.

I have found a passion for cooking. I used to try and make meals before but was never confident in what I made. That has all changed I am making dinner just about every night and I am experimenting with different foods and how to make the same chicken 50 different ways. I am adapting recipes to make them Keto friendly and just really embracing it all.

Yes I still have down days and crappy days. I still have days were I feel like crap. But those days have become a lot less.

I am happy and I am so looking forward to what the future is like and where I can go from here.

Keto (WEEK 4 UPDATE)

Keto Week 4 How I'm feeling my thoughts on Keto!

So today was weigh in day and I was up pretty early this morning used the washroom and stepped on the scale and was super surprised at the number in a good way!

Week 4 : -4.4 lbs  Total loss so far : -10.4lbs

Happy dance commence! To be honest I have never felt this good on any way of eating before. I am almost never hungry and when I am I eat, I don't snack anymore I eat 2 meals a day sometimes 3 but mostly just 2. It is very rare for me to eat after 7pm now which it used to be snack central in this house hold at night.

I am starting to understand my body and self a lot more and better. I am more in tune with how I am feeling. The one thing I have noted for myself and realized is that on any other WOE I have never not been hungry I was hungry all the time. I was also always crazy tired I thought that being tired was just the way my life was going to be. I was always dying for a nap at 1-2pm. This has totally changed which makes me love this way of eating even more!

I am having so much fun experimenting with food I have been cooking all the meals for my family which has made doing this so much easier and everyone is loving the food!

I can't wait to see what happens in the next couple weeks I am sticking to this until I hit my goal and beyond no more yucky carbs for this girl!

Potty Training struggle at 4yrs

There are days where I sit down in a room alone and throw my hands up in the air and scream inside with frustration. I have heard so many stories of parents that have amazing potty training experiences or that it took a while but once they got it they were good to go and no more issues. Well this isn't the case for us ours is a little different from most that I have heard of.

It took forever for L to be potty trained don't get me wrong I started trying to train her at 2 1/2 but she refused. finally when she was 3 she started to get it and was doing really well she was going all day and night with no accidents and was doing great. She was out of diapers and pull ups and wearing her big girl underwear to daycare at home and to bed. We had finally rid our house of Diapers and I was so happy it was so much easier. Well a few months after she was potty trained and things were going well she got kicked out of daycare because our daycare wanted to take a kid that was going to be staying as we were going to be leaving in a few months as L was going to be starting school, No big deal I work from home so I made it work.

Well that first week home was horrible its like a switch went off and my child forgot everything about being potty trained she peed her pants at least 8 times the first day! 8 FRIGGIN TIMES!! She wasn't having accidents at night just during the day. I had no idea what to do about it I tried putting her on time outs but felt bad because I wasn't sure if she knew what was happening with her body maybe she didn't know that she had to pee maybe there was something wrong with her that she couldn't control it.

Time went on and she got a little better but we were still having random accidents every once in a while which I didn't totally get angry at as she was only just 4. finally we got back to where we were no accidents everything was good. Dun Dun Dun!! School started and so did the peeing of pants. I ended up making a deal with her that if she could go the whole month without having an accident that she could get a hatchimal (something she had been begging me for). The month came and went and she did pretty good she had one accident and I let it slid as it really wasn't her fault. All was good again or was it?

Fast forward a few more months and she started having accidents again! Like what is going on with this kid she has always been good with not peeing the bed and for some reason one week she peed every single night and not just a little pee like a lot of pee. She was having 2 accidents at least twice a week at school and I was struggling trying to understand her. I ended up making a drs appointment to go get her checked out as I was at a loss. We went and got asked a bunch of questions they ran some tests to see if she had an infection or something else wrong with her. We then went and she had an Xray to see if she had a blockage. Nothing, Nothing was wrong that the Dr could find so he told me he was going to refer me to a Paediatrician. Well that was in march and we still haven't gotten a call.

As of today L is in goodnights at night because she's not comfortable going without them at night now as she fears she's going to have an accident  which I totally get. During the day she has gotten a bit better but she is still having accidents at least once a week.  So at this point I'm at a loss and struggling to figure out what to do with her or how to get this under control. Maybe its something that we just need to wait out. I'm hoping that I can get a handle on it during the summer and we can get back on track.

Thanks so much if you have read this far! Please if you have any insight or suggestions Comment below because I'm going to loose my mind!

Updates and other stuff!

Well it's been a hot minute since I was on here and actually posted something. It's crazy how fast time goes by and you don't even notice its going so quickly and then it slaps you in the face. These last few months have been crazy for me hence why I haven't been on here much lately and haven't written on her much either. I have been trying to make some changes in my life which I have had ongoing for as long as I can remember. I have gotten myself a personal trainer she comes once a week to my house and trains me for 30 min. Let me tell you she doesn't let me off easy this girl is making me sweat. I am working on getting myself back into eating better which is really a hit or miss most days some days I'm really good at it and then others I'm horrible but what else is new. I have been working on keeping my cardio up between training sessions by doing 30 min walks or swimming and other random things to keep me moving.

L is and has gotten so much bigger in the last few months and I can't get over the fact that in 2 weeks she is going to be 5 years old. I feel like it was yesterday that she was born I can still remember the day so clearly like it happened yesterday. L and I share a room and up until last month she was sleeping in a toddler bed and I was in a double so we had to figure out how we were going to fit the 2 of us in the same room together while still giving us enough space to live in the room. The only logical thing was to get a bunk bed! L is the happiest kid in the world right now hahaha. So I a 28 year old just got my first bunk bed and let me tell you I'm not complaining I friggin love the thing. I find I am getting so much more work done since we got it. It's like my own little space that I just sit in and work in any time of the day and night. It really has changed a lot of things and our room is so much cleaner and organized.

My plan for the next few posts which I am fingers crossed bit my tongue going to be posting on here again more frequently. I have a few product reviews I am planning on doing. I am thinking I am wanting to do some sort of weekly update on whats going on in our world and a few other posts that I have yet to come up with.

SO until next time!!

Health and Mental Health

By the title of this post I am guessing that you have an idea of what this post is all about or you have an idea. These past few weeks as you know I haven't been posting much. I have posted a few posts to keep you updated as best I could or just wrote that things are tough right now. Today is the last day of the month and I am so glad and hoping that next month is awesome! May has been hard for me personally and for some of my loved ones around me there have been a lot of things that have happened including cancer battles, dangerous falls, mental health issues and many more.

My struggle has been with my mental health and my physical health. It has all gotten out of control and I am grasping at straws to get back in control of it all. I personally suffer from Depression and it has been a struggle that I have dealt with for years basically over 10 years. It usually doesn't get too bad and I can work through it pretty easily but this month has been a big test on myself. I have chosen to not medicate my depression and It's defiantly ok if anyone else reading this does you have to do whats right for you. We all have the choice to do what we think is best for us and for me personally medication just always made me feel worse then I already did so I have always chosen to deal with it on my own.

I have been very depressed this month and overwhelmed. Because of this I have let my physical health suffer and my weight has gone way up and I now am struggling to get it to go back down. I have always struggled with my weight and my appearance and have low to no self esteem. I am currently the biggest I have been since I was a teenager and that was over 13 years ago. I lost almost 100lbs probably about 5-6 years ago and was the smallest I had ever been but wasn't yet at my goal but was so close. Then life happened and I had L and a lot of different things happen and never got back to how well I was before. I wish desperately that I could get back into the mind space I used to have when it came to working out and the way I ate.

I have started to make some new goals for myself and Next month is a new beginning and the new Beginning starts June 1st! Wish me luck!